What might it be ?

I'll give you three guesses:

Write your answer into the "comment" page

and you might, or you might not win a prize.

DO YOU WANT A SHORT CHUCKLE ? ( a very short one ? )

Three "elderly gentlemen" are out for a little walk.
First one says: "It's windy, isn't it ?"
Second one says: "No, it's Thursday !"
Third one says. "So am I. Let's go get a beer !"

*******************************

Charly mentioned to his friend that he has bought a new hearing aid. The latest of hearing-aid-technology. Cost me over four thousand bucks, he boasts to his friend. It is the latest. It's perfect !
Is that so, says his friend. "What kind is it ?"
"Three thirty" says Charly.

********************************

Sidney, age 84, has a complete physical check up.
Three days later the doctor sees Sid walking down the Allee with a gorgeous young chick on his arm.
"Hey, you're doing great, says the doctor.
I'm only doing what you told me answers Sid:
"Get a hot mamma and be cheerful"
The doctor is astonished and says: I did not say any such thing! 
I said: You've got a heart murmer; be careful.

**********************************

When Bertstravels has nothing better up his sleeve, he digs up some crummy jokes.

NEW ART

In recent times I have visited an inordinate number of 

"Art Galleries",

"Private Showings" and "Vernissages"

Some, the rare one, told me that the "artist-painter" truly wanted to 

talk to the viewer.

The vast majority, however, struck me as simply trying to fool me and all the rest

of the gaping public.

There was one, for instance, who clearly dropped some dollops of different coloured paint 

on the top edge of the canvas, 

and then spread his fingers and thumb 

and drew them through the paint from top to bottom, 

making wiggly lines.

He called these "Works of Art" about 30cm by 30cm

"Fingerschmierereien"

literally translated: "Finger Smearings"

and, believe me, he asked and, I am told, he actually received €3000.00 for some of them.

It seems to me, and I believe I have once before stated so, 

that this Charlatan actually tells the art-buying public:

"You people are so stupid, that even if I tell you, that these "Smearings" have nothing to do with art,

you will still pay me several thousand of your hard earned Euros."

... so I got me some paint !

and a big white canvas,

and some brushes

and a white coat,

I already had an easel

and when the sun was shining

I set my tools up in our garden

and I splashed some paint around.

I haven't thought of a name yet.

Maybe I will call them:

Green on Green 1

Green on Green 2

Green on Green 3

It will be a long time before I ran out of titles.

In fact I surmise that I will run out of paint

a considerable time before I run out of  titles.

I just thought: If they can do it, so can I !

The way in which these "works of Art"

saw the light of day, is actually quite different 

from the above description.

Bertstravels

just wants to have some fun.

Three, which don't belong together !

Ontario Place lights !

Not a good landing place for seagulls !

He is right at home !

Talk about dense morning fog !

An Island in Lake Opeongo !

disandatandanotherting

At the very tip of the Bruce Peninsula there is a town called Tobermory.

I used to rent a boat there and visited a number of little islands.

One of them is called the "Flowerpot Island" because of its shape.

There is something interesting, peculiar on Flowerpot Island:

Almost dead centre there is an opening to a cave, out of which emanates an air stream,

at the same lukewarm temperature all year long.

Summer and Winter.

The same temperature

Right in this airstream grows an orchid:

The Calypso Orchid.

Just a hand full.

This is truly not the latitude where Orchids grow.

But here you have it:

The picture above: The Calypso Orchid of Tobermory.

Also from this general area,

The Lady's Slipper.

Not quite as unusual as the Calypso,

but a very beautiful flower.

What is this I just saw flutter by ?

Must have been a Butterfly.

A very early morning on the Bruce Peninsula.

Dense clouds above, dense fog below.

Trees on the lake shore in the middle.

The bud of a rose.

Promising new life !

Promising beauty!

The KENNY GARRETT Quintet

Direct from the USA, via London, Paris, Berlin, Vienna to Bleiburg comes the most unbelievable group of musicians, I have ever heard or seen.
Unbelievable ever heard ? Yes ! and in my days I have heard most of them:
A Stan Getz Quartet, Gerry Mulligan and Chet Baker, Ben Webster, Cannonball Adderly, Paul Desmond, Charly Parker and so many more, too many to list them all here.
Talk about "Energy" ! Nobody comes close to Kenny Garrett: Not Stan Kenton in his heydays, not Count Basie's Big Band, not even the Jazz Messengers.
The Kenny Garrett Quintet started playing at 9 O'Clock sharp and played at the highest level of intensity until almost 11PM interrupting only long enough to catch their breath  between numbers, not even waiting for the applause to abate.
Half way through, Garrett stopped long enough to introduce the members of his Combo:

Vernell Brown, - Acoustic Piano
Corcoron Holt - Acoustic Bass
Marcus Baylor - Drums
Rudy Bird - Percussion
sand himself: Kenny Garrett - Alto and Soprano Saxophones.

and back again into a 45 minute uninterrupted session of brilliantly played Ballad-style melodies.
Even those he offered with an intensity only demonstrable by a 'young' Genius.

I have never heard a Bass player with the musical sensitivity and mechanical dexterity as great as  Mr. Holt. 
And, I have heard, if not all, then many of them. I will not show off again by mentioning their names.

Marcus Baylor on Drums must be heard and seen in order to believe this Genius of Rhythm...
and, yes, I have heard and seen many of them too.

With Oscar Peterson as his idol, Mr. Brown can play up a storm which leaves you gaping....

Rudy Bird, commanding a multitude of rhythm instruments displays imagination and style which simply draws you to him. Even from the stage to the last row of the audience (where I sat ) he radiates an attractive personality and a mastery of his many percussion instruments.

Last, but surely not Least comes Mr. Garrett. If ever the expression: "must be heard to be believed" had value, it has value in spades when applied to Kenny Garrett.

Unbelievable Group ever seen?
Yes this too: At a time when musicians seem to vie with each other as to who is more sloppily dressed, Who has the filthiest T-shirt, whose blue jeans are more ripped, here comes The Kenny Garrett group: Mr. Garrett himself in an elegantly tailored medium-dark brown suit, elegant, open neck grey shirt and colour co-ordinated cap, The drummer having taken off his jacket plays in a blue shirt and bow-tie. Vernell Brown wears a pin striped blue suit, and so on...
In this way, the group, in my opinion shows respect for the audience as well as for themselves.

So here you have it: I you did not hear this group yesterday or any other time: Shame on You.

More sights during a walk

Just below here I told you about all the things I see 

when walking wth our DDD....

I almost forgot to show you one or two of the most important sightings:

DDDis very camera-shy,

or he is a secret agent of the CIA

and does not want his face to become known.

DDD's best friend !