loop de loop

From my desk drawer I took this sheet of white paper. It was immaculate, except for the word

SOAR

which appeared in the very center. Very faint at first, then with stronger and stronger print.

Oh, well, I thought, I just was not looking carefully enough at the beginning. This word must have been there always.

I don't remember having made the decision, but I folded it from the right hand upper corner to the left edge and with my thumb nail I made the crease really really sharp.

Then I took hold of the left hand upper corner and brought it to the right edge, performing the same „sharp crease“ exercise.

I did not seem to control my hands. I did not will them to do this or that.

It was, as if they made this paper aeroplane all by themselves..

When it was ready, much to my amazement, the word „Soar“ appeared on both wings.

I got up and stepped onto our balcony.

The sky was a crystal clear, blue.

The Mountain, seemingly just beyond St. Joseph's steeple seemingly at the end of our back yard, still snow covered and looking closer than ever before.

For a while I just looked at this so beautiful, yet so familiar scene.

Then I took „Soar“ ( by now it had adopted its own name ) firmly between thumb and fore finger of my right hand and tested its weight against the brisk morning air.

It felt as if it had a life of its own and was eager to fly.

With a mighty heave I gave it all the power I had in my arm and Soar truly soared.

It dipped and rose and dipped again and I thought „rise“ some more and then sail straight.

And it did: It rose and then, for a while, it flew straight.

And I thought: „bank to the left“ and, see there, as if following my command, it banked to the left.

Just to test my power over Soar I thought: „bank to the right“ and my paper plane banked to the right and then flew straight some more.

Having become almost giddy with power I thought: „Rise and make a full loop“

And it did!

It rose and when its nose was perpendicular, it looped in the wonderful, brilliant, brisk, cool air and when it had completed this „loop de loop“ it soared on and for a moment it disappeared behind the steeple of St Joseph, only to reappear on the other side.

I thought: „Hey, you beautiful paper plane, called Soar, do a gentle bank to the left and fly to the mountain. 

Fly to the snow covered mountain. 

Fly to the mountain which still harbours Winter, although Spring has arrived in the valleys. 

Fly on your own and become independent of my thoughts.

Don't listen to me any more, but become your own. Become true to your name: Soar and soar and land atop the mountain, on a weeping snow field, right next to the tip of a Snow Crocus, called:  „Hesitate, but Hope“.   

Be yourself and belong to no one. Not even to me, who has folded you and controlled you for a while, being almost ashamed now of this control.

If I ever find another blank sheet of paper on which it says „Soar“ or maybe „Soar II“,

I promise to make you a twin and let it land then on the wonderful mountain meadow, right amidst the blue „Enzian“, the red „Erika“ and a little higher up, maybe you will find an „Edelweis“

Right now, I had better get up, shave, shower and dress, and take a sheet of paper from my desk, out of which I might fashion a paper aeroplane.

Bertstravel

sometimes fantasizes

St. Joseph's Church, around which "SOAR" did his loop de loop.

behind, and in close up below,  is the mountain, snow covered in 

April. Still!

SOAR'S landing astrip.

Also called "The Petzen"