it's a tough life

I've been meaning to write this little essay for some time now. But I did not want to be thought of as a complainer and considered a spoiled brat. Things are getting so bad, however, that I feel I must vent my frustrations and anger:
Take the weather, for instance: Day after day, the sun shines from a boring blue sky, with here and there a little white cloud. The temperatures range between 28 and 33 degrees centigrade. This goes on day after day after day...
Then there is the swimming pool in our own garden: It is at least 20 meters from the door of my studio and its clumsy structure makes it necessary to climb a 4 rung ladder or jump into the pool head first. What is worse, when I want to leave the 23 to 26 degree water, I actually have to climb this ladder. Not an easy thing to accomplish for an 80 year old man.
Then there is the need to constantly make decisions: When I climb out of the pool, do I lye in the shade of a large umbrella or do I prefer the sunshine. By the way, I am forced to open the umbrella all by myself. (When you need them, the staff is nowhere to be seen.)
Protected by this umbrella I no sooner have dozed off a little, than Christin comes with a snack:
A fresh roll,  some delicious ham, a bunch of grapes and three kinds of Austrian and two kinds of Italian Cheese. Here we go again. I prefer the Italian Cheese and there are only two kinds on the cheese tray.
Again, I have to make these difficult decisions, since I cannot eat all of the cheese. I wish Christin would not bring so much and in such variety. To make matters worse, I have to sit up if I want to eat any of this stuff.
Have I told you about the Wine? Once again today it was at least 1 degree too cool and in this heat the ice in the Gin and Tonic glass melts much too fast.
The gardener has just left and the noise of his electric lawn mower was almost deafening. I wish he would use a Scythe, or some nail clippers.
Yesterday I actually found three, count them: three wind driven rose pedals in the pool. This kind of water pollution must absolutely stop.
This reminds me:
Our roses have thorns. I must ask our gardener to either clip them or replace the bushes with a thorn less variety. There are such things. No??
Just so that you don't think I am complaining needlessly, let me tell you this:
When the pool man comes to vacuum the pool, I actually have to get up from my deck chair to unlock the rear door. He came the other day, just as I wanted to go for a swim. I had to keep him waiting a good 20 minutes until I was ready to come out. Maybe I shall ask him in future to perform the pool maintenance during the night hours.
And so it goes: I could keep on and on telling you about the hard life I lead. But, what's the use... I am sure each of you has his/her own problems, even if not as severe as mine.

No,no,no darling...
not quite so much ice in my Gin and tonic please...

Bertstravels.