Elephant Hunters !

I was roaming around my laptop, sorting things out a little, since there is a tendency to end up  with a bit of a "topsy-turvy", a "tohu-wabohu" or in simpler words, "a mess." 

There are essays I wrote about Religion, right next to some Jokes and Puns, ( come to think of it, Religion and Jokes go well together, since they fall loosely into the same category ), next to some short stories about my travels in Africa, and other little comments like the one below.

I don't think that I have posted this one before.

If I have, it's no shame to repeat it.

Here it goes:

Elephant hunters:

A very few weeks after we heard about a „Great White Hunter“ having killed a Lion after having lured the animal from a protected zone into a hunting zone, we read about another such Hero who shot an Elephant. Not just any Elephant, but one known for his mighty tusks and his advanced age.

Every newspaper featured pictures of the proud hunter with his trophy Elephant and his guide, who assured all and sundry that his client had done nothing illegal.

It was also reported that the hunting community was applauding this brave hunter, who, with a single shot put an end to the life of a beautiful animal.

Let me assure you that there was nothing brave about this slaughter.

I have been in Africa a total of 12 times and, in aggregate, have spent almost a year on this beautiful continent.

I too have 'hunted' Elephants, Lions, Rhinoceros, Hippos, and all manner of other denizens of Eastern and Southern Africa. My hunting was done with a camera which takes a great deal more guts than that displayed by these hunters-killers.

And I can tell you from personal experience that it is not at all very difficult to get within 10 to 15 meters of an Elephant. From that distance anybody, strong enough to hold a gun, can hit a barn door and just as easily can hit an elephant behind the ear in order to kill it.

So what is the enthusiasm of the hunting community all about ? Are they waxing euphoric because one of theirs has killed an Elephant? One of theirs, who carried a large caliber hunting gun, and who was protected by a hunting guide, carrying another large caliber instrument of killing ?

Methinks the man is probably a coward.

Let him, armed with a Nikon, get within 10 meters of an Elephant.

Even today, considerable time after I have written the above, I get angry when I think about these hunter-killers.

There is a restaurant just a little ways outside of Bleiburg, where in the dining room the owner displays the heads of two mighty Kudus, which, he is proud to relate, he shot on one of his hunting Safaris.

I refuse to visit his establishment. I'm sure he does not care about my boycott.

Bertstravels

Atop the Kömmel

It was such a beautiful afternoon. 

The sun blazed from a cloudless sky.

Sitting at home seemed a little like a sin.

So, off we went.

Up the serpentine road

from Neuhaus

along the comb of the hill

and back again.

What a day it was.

Midafternoon on a hillrise 

just outside of Bleiburg

Then a high fog, (or was it low clouds ? ) 

settled  upon the hills.

VIENNA by night

Christmas Decorations

in various locations

"Der Graben"  , ( the ditch ) 

where one may find the most exclusive stores

Sections of the Ring

above and below:

Next to "the Graben" it is the "Kärntner Strasse"

which features the most exclusive shopping opportunities.

A Teasel and a Bee

The 'Wild Teasel' (Dipsacus fullonum )

Photographed in the 'Courtright Center' 

just a few km North of Toronto.

While I was setting up the tripod, a bee came to collect nectar

thereby changing a simple flower picture into 

an adventure in wild life.

The difference between this bee drinking its fill 

from this flower near Toronto

and an Elephant slurping water from a pond in Botswana

is merely in size.

A Teasel and a Bee.

The Bee is covered with pollen

thereby guaranteeing the growth of  new Teasels 

elsewhere.

Vienna ... just a little of it..

I didn't have much time to do an honest job of photography.
Just a few shots here and there.
More snapshot taking than photography.
Sorry folks..
There is one picture, however, which describes life in Europe today accurately:

One of the mandatory shots: The Hofburg

In front of St. Stephen's Cathedral.

The sign above the entrance says:

"The holy portal of compassion

But this pictures describes Europe today:

Amidst the throngs of tourists, not just in front of the Cathedral, 

but also patrolling up and down Kaerntner Strasse and The Graben.

"Polizei" with machine guns at the ready.

This too shall pass

Matt: Hi, Pat, I'm calling you from the freeway with my new cell phone.
Pat: Be careful Matt, they just said on the radio that there is some nut driving the wrong way on the freeway.
Matt: One nut ? Hell, there are hundreds of them.

*******************

Braunau am Inn (again)

I'm back again in the town in which I grew up.
It still holds an attraction for me and not only because some of my best friends and relative live here, but it was the place I used to call home between the ages of 4 and 23.
So, each time I come here, I post some pictures on my Blog, even though they may be annoyingly repetitious.

The upper part of the main square ( above and below )

from the beginning of 1937 to the mid 1955

I called "Stadtplatz 22", the building on the right, my home.

Some nooks and crannies.

below:

Dinner in Braunau with family and best friends

Charly  and his wife of many years, Margret.

I just have to tell you this:

Charly, a professional musician, was the biggest Casanova, 

the most prolific Don Juan which you have ever heard of.

The chances of an enduring marriage were rated by his friends as slim to none !

Margret, however, tamed him and after a while, Charly realized that he could not possibly 

have found a better women, wife and mother, and Charly became a faithful husband.

(Not right away, but eventually.)

Veronika and Hermann:

Hermann is my nephew, the son of my sister. Hermann was a determined athlete. 

Playing indoor handball, ruined his knees and he was and still is in and out of hospital for a variety of reasons.

What a stroke of good fortune that he fell in love with Veronika, a Nurse.

Although retired by now, this lovely woman still practices her art on ONE patient:

Husband Hermann.

Besides the two couples, there is Hilde Engel. She does her last name proud.

Hilde was married to my late brother. She also was a high performance athlete,

having been selected to the Austrian National Team in Gymnastic, 

representing her country in the Rome Olympics. (1958 ? )

She still pays her price with a ruined back.

Neurotic anxiety

Alexis goes to see a doctor, telling him that he is certain that he suffers from a liver disease.
That's ridiculous, says the doctor, how would you know, there is no discomfort of any kind.
"Exactly" replies Alexis, "those are my exact symptoms."

Everything is "relative"

A snail was mugged by two turtles. When the police asked the snail what happened, he said: 
"I don't know. It all happened so fast."

In Vienna

Bertstravels is in Vienna...  not on pleasure ...
BT has time on his hands, but the weather is not very conducive to taking pictures.
Having discovered a very funny book, ( Plato and a Platypus walk into a bar.) which tries to explain philosophy by using jokes, BT will attempt to amuse you by posting some of the best within the next days.
So, you picture fans, please be patient. 

Bertstravels 
will be back real soon.

Brutal.. isn't it ?

Customer to Waiter: Tell me, my good man, how do you prepare your chickens ?

Waiter: We have no special way. We just tell them they're gonna die.

Sunset at 'Little Joe' Lake

If, looking at this picture, you cannot hear the Loon calling 
from the little bay over there, you must be deaf.

Bertstravels
hears him clearly

Who's hard of hearing ?

A man tells his doctor that he is afraid his wife is losing her hearing.
The doctor suggests a simple home remedy. When you come home, stand behind her and ask a simple question: First from a distance of 20 feet, then from 10 feet and then from right behind her.
The man comes home and sees his wife standing there, facing the stove.
He right away asks: "What's for dinner, darling ?" 
No answer.
The man advances to about 10 feet and repeats the question: "What's for dinner, darling "?
Still no answer.
Finally standing right behind her, he raises his voice a little and asks: "What's for dinner, darling"?
His wife turns around and says: "For the third time - chicken."

This could be
Bertstravels !

Logically philosophical

There is a town in which the sole barber - who, by the way, is a man, - shaves all the townsmen, and only those townsmen, who do not shave themselves. Does the barber shave himself ?
If he does, he doesn't. If he doesn't, he does.

Think about that one for a moment and then use it at the next pub-night.

Bertstravels
has figgured it out.

Hoar Frost

Even if we have no snow yet, we have enough hoar frost 
that you can almost ski on it.

Very funny, isn't it ?

Three engineering students are discussing what kind of engineer God would be.
The first one says that it is obvious that God is a mechanical engineer: Look at all the joints in the human body.
The second claims emphatically that God is an electrical engineer: The human nervous system consists of thousands and thousands of electrical connections, he claims.
The third student slowly takes another sip from his beer and says: "God must have been a Civil Engineer. Who else would run a sewage disposal system right through the middle of a recreational area..?

Breaking News

BREAKING  NEWS                                         BREAKING NEWS                             

           READ ALL ABOUT IT    

                     The "Office of Research into Unsubstantiated Rumors and Boldfaced Innuendos" ( ORURBI ) has announced that this year again, Bert Reitter has failed to win First Prize in the famed "Bleiburg Lottery".

The ORURBI, whose floating head office this year is located in the "Backstüberl" of a well known Cafe in Bleiburg has stated that the statistical likelyhood of Bert's ever winning this Price is exceedingly low, particularly in the face of Bert's Steadfast Refusal ( the BSR) to purchase, or to accept a free Lottery Ticket.

Furthermore, the investigative staff of the ORURBI has discovered, after intensive and long research, that the draw will be held on the 16th day of January in 2016, further reducing Bert's chances of having won this prize yesterday.

Rudolf Schneckelberger

President.

ORURBI.

Lonely

Tonight's only customer !....

...and now even he has left !

MASK

KWAKWAKA' WAKW

a Komokwa Mask 1890/1910

Really BAD Puns

There was this art lover who could not drive to the Gallery because 

he did not have enough Monet

to buy DeGas

to make his Van Goh...

****************

There was a man in a boat who had two cigarettes but nothing to light one so he could have a smoke; He thought for a while and then he hit upon a great idea:

He threw one cigarette over board, so the whole boat became a cigarette lighter.

****************

Zimbabwe - 18th April - Independence Festival

e 

We were driving from Masvingo to Harare.

When we passed the town of Chivhu 

we found the entire population on the soccer field, 

celebrating the countries Independence.

It was the 18th day of April.

We turned off the main road and found a sea of citizens of Chivhu 

milling about  in front of the gates of the stadion.

I shot 20 or so pictures with my Polaroid camera 

and as they slowly developed 

into a colour Photograph, I handed them to the individual.

First the three policemen keeping order at the gate.

Then the Mayor and two of his Aldermen.

One of them quickly collected his family of wife and 6 children 

of whom a Group Picture was made.

The remaining pictures were all "group photos"

We were invited into the stadion and asked to sit 

with the dignitaries at the head table.

I asked permission to wander about and to take photographs, 

which  permission was glady granted.

Gladys was seated between the wives of the mayor and one of the Aldermen.

A small part of the croud in the jam-packed Soccer stadion.

Shortly thereafter the entertainment started:

Choirs and dancers.

Lovely voices and great energy.

some of the dancers had dried gourds, filled with small stones 

tied to their legs

which created great rhythm.

Two young Congo Drummers laid down a fast paced beat.

Finally we were invited to stay for dinner, 

which was being prepared 

in huge drums, and  stirred with large poles.

Unfortunately we could not accept this invitation, since we had 

an important date in Harare.

It was a great afternoon and I regret to this day to have

rejected the dinner invitation.

The GREAT ZIMBABWE

Very few ancient structures have caused more controversy than the ruins of the "Great Zimbabwe".

Situated between Lake Mutirique and the town of Maswingo, they were built sometime within the 11th Century.

Walls, up to five meters in height, in some locations up to 3 meters thick, they were erected without mortar or any other kind of binding agent.

The former Government of Rhodesia pressured archeologists to deny that these structures were erected by the Shona people, a local, indigenous tribe, living in southern Africa, predominatly in the area formerly known as "Southern Rhodesia", now known as Zimbabwe.

Should it have been established scientifically, that local Africans had erected this complicated, sophisticated series of structures, the Rhodesian Government's claim regarding the intellectual inferiority of the black population would have been difficult to sustain.

In fact, it has been established with carbon dating and other scientific means that these structures were in deed built by the Gokomore culture, ancestors of the current Shonas.

Time and neglect have contributed to the deterioration.

Well built stairways lead from ground floor areas to upper structures.

In the morning, after our arrival at the "Great Zimbabwe Motel"

 in Maswingo

we found our car washed and cleaned to a shine.

This young lad had done it before we got up, in the hope of

some kind of remuneration. I paid him the amount I would have had to pay in a Car Wash in Toronto.

The young man, who told me his name was  Joshua, 

could not believe his luck.

I had paid him the equivalent of 5 Canadian dollars, when he expected not more than 25 cents.

Naturally he offered to carry my camera gear throughout our visit to the "Great Zimbabwe"

I accepted his offer and was glad of it since it was a hot day and again I paid him approximetely what I would have had to pay for this service in Toronto.

My Zimbabwean friends chasticed me severely, since, they assumed, such amounts would totally spoil this boy and make him unhappy with anything he could earn  afterwards, and that such an amount would feed him and his family for a month.

I asked: "So what ?"

Please do not ask me how they moved 

this huge round boulder into place.

Maybe it was there and they built around it.

Question #2: How did the boulder get so round ?

Nature did not do it.

The doorway, (centre right ) leads to a now roof-less area, 

the size of a fairly large banquet hall.

Below the "Upper Section" there is the "Great Enclosure" which,

it is assumed, housed the Kings private quarters.

Here, leaning against the wall of the "Great Enclosure" is Gladys and Joshua

The decorative course of stones atop the wall is a "fertility snake"

Gladys, however, is not hoping for any benefit from this symbol.

(She is just studying a map of how to get from Maswingo to Harare) 

A close-up of the "fertility snake"

Joshua, with one of my cameras slung around his neck,

stands in front of a tower, which is solid throughout and has no storage capacity nor any other explainable use.

There are now,of course, assumptions, surmises, theories, guesses:

It is to tell any visitor, friend or foe, that this is such a rich community that it must build such a huge Grain Silo.

Others insist that it was a phallic symbol, telling of the strength and virility of the builders.

I say it was built for Joshua, my camera bearer, to lean against.

The Queen of the "Great Zimbabwe"